I'm so broken. I'm hardened, addicted and lost. I'm lonely and needy. I'm jealous and I'm angry. Calloused, offended, confused, obsessive, hurt and upset. I'm insecure. I'm jaded. I'm bitter, and I'm selfish.
I can't let people in, so I let them walk all over me. I'm never enough for the ones I so desperately want to be enough for. I'm retreated and I'm drawn-back. I get hurt too easily, and I never give myself the time to heal. I constantly feel guilty.
From the moment I wake up to the moment I lay my head, I'm never good enough for me. Never skinny enough. Never pretty enough. Never together enough for me. I spend hours in a day dream that I know will never come to pass. I hide my pain, and only ever let it show around the wrong people.
I'm desperate for love. Desperate for healing, for hope, for commitment and for restoration. I long for redemption.
For the soft whisper of I am enough. The touch of a Savior. The blood of a Son. The blood of a man who came to die for my shortcomings. The man who stretched His arms wide on the Hill of calvary and proclaimed to the world that I am His beloved, welcomed me into His embrace. The man who died for my broken heart. For my redemption and my freedom. Spilled His blood, for me. Just, me.
I am carried into His presence,
I am crippled at His table.